Story of Raine Part 1
by amida kawanishi
Summary: This story is about how Raine and Laguna meet and their lives together from that day on. Recently updated to 3 chapters. Please, please review.... I write this story from my heart! Really and truly! No characters are mine, except for maybe the old folks!
1. Prologue, Vulnerability in the Water

**Part One: Loire: The Soldier**

**Prologue: **

Winhill . . . Such a quiet little town. My home in a country called Galbadia, a place tattered by violence. Winhill is the only place in the world that doesn't seem _too _badly damaged by the Sorceress' War, perhaps because of its small size and insignificance to any conflict. But my spot in such a rabid country is so calm which is why I love it so much. It's always been that way. Humble . . . and timid at times. Everyone knows everyone's name, age, birthday, and whatever else. I've always been here though. I was born here and I'll probably die here. But that's what I want, really. I couldn't imagine leaving this town. I'd like to think that I'm needed here. But I guess in Winhill, everybody depends on themselves. So maybe my role isn't very important. But my pub and Ellone are good enough reasons for me to stay here.

Ellone? She's my baby. Well, not literally. She's like a sister to me. She's not a blood relative, but ever since her parents died trying to protect her, I've made it my priority to take care of her myself. Sadly no one else would. Many of the old folks say that keeping her is bad luck and that I'll regret it. But as an orphan myself, I can't just abandon her and let her be taken away. . . I'd die before that happened.

Nothing happens in this town. Everything is slow and tired and the pace has never changed. All the men are gone because of the war and all that's left are the old people who are set in their ways, a couple of shifty Galbadian soldiers here and there, me, and Ellone, the last child left. It's a ghost of a place compared to what it used to be, but it's safer than other places, and I'm grateful for that. It's a town that doesn't really change and the people aren't really fond of changes either. But I guess I'm not like everyone else. I've been hungry for change ever since I was old enough to know what it was. But I don't have the will to make change happen. All I have is Ellone, my pub, and all the flowers that bloom around this small little town. But I'm happy here. And as long as I have Ellone and as long as we're safe, I don't mind if things stay this way forever.

**Chapter one: Vulnerability in the Water **

"Raine!" I heard a small voice calling to me as I woke from a short nap on my green sofa. I opened my eyes as Ellone called my name again, her face red because from her shouting. "Raine, this is no time 4 sleepy-time!" she said, stumping her small feet. "I peeked down de stairs and saw 4 min. I tink there's gonna b twouble if we don't feed 'em." I blinked a few times, focusing my eyes on her little face. I sat up and stretched. It was around six in the evening and by that time, business was unpredictable. I groaned as I thought. Sometimes I hate working here, I said to myself. I stared at Ellone as she stood there. But as long as I can provide for Ellone and me, I'm grateful . . .

"Did these men let themselves in?" I said, a bit irritated. "God, people are so rude nowadays . . ."

"They r . . . they r soljers, I tink," said Ellone. "They r wearing bloo . . ." I jumped off of the sofa, letting my hair fall wildly onto my shoulders. I ran my hands through my hair for a moment, fixing it in an instant. I smiled at Ellone and asked, "Alright, do I look okay?"

"Yoor hair is really pwetty, Raine!" she said, jumping up and down. "Yoo look purfect!"

"Alright! Let's go then!"

Ellone and I ran down the stairs, racing to the bottom. Ellone's little feet found a rhythm as she scurried down. I was right behind her, trying to make sure she or I didn't fall. We giggled and laughed all the way down until we reached the bottom.

"I wun!" Ellone yelled, making the victory sign with her little fingers. We laughed until we were interrupted by the sound of the someone clearing their throat. I looked up and saw four stern-faced men in blue uniforms staring at me with displeased expressions. All of them had their helmets off and none of them had anything appealing about how they looked. I could see two mustaches, a beard, and a bald head, totaling in four average looking customers. All the same, they were customers. These must be some of the new patrollers, I said to myself. I don't know any of these people. I nervously smiled at the men and said, " Welcome, gentlemen . . . I hope you haven't been waiting long." They all continued to stare at me, their eyes fixated on my every move. Wow, I said to myself. Four customers all at once? Business had been pretty slow for a couple of weeks so I was happy to finally have different faces in the pub. "I hope the patrol went well . . ." I said as I grabbed Ellone's hand and dragged her behind the pub's counter with me. The four men walked up the counter and sat down, quietly talking amongst themselves as if discussing something that seemed important. "Would you guys like something to drink?" I asked them. They all looked at me at the same time. Two of them snickered at me and the other two said that they wanted some water. As I started getting the water, Ellone started talking to one of the soldiers.

"Hi!" she said. She was jumping up and down, trying to talk to him from behind the counter. The bald soldier looked at her strangely, cocking his head to one side. I discreetly watched the soldiers as they glanced at Ellone and then turned their attention back to me. I don't trust these guys, I said to myself. They seemed a little too into what I was doing and it was quite evident that they were fanatically staring at me. "My name is Ellone." Ellone started dancing, singing and giggling. " E-l-l-o-n-e Isn't that a pwetty name?"

"Yes, Ellone," I said as I passed the two men two glasses of water. I bent down for a moment in attempt to get Ellone to be a bit more quiet. "Ellone, I know you're having fun, but I'm trying to work right now. We'll play later, I promise. "

"O-tay!" Ellone said, giving me the OK sign with her little fingers. "I wil b quiet, I pwom--"

"Ahem . . ." I heard one of the men clearing his throat, interrupting Ellone. I stood back up and looked at the four men in front of me. "I didn't actually come here to eat," said the bearded man sitting directly out in front of me, winking at me. He reached out and made and attempt to touch my face. Scoffing at him, I quickly stepped backwards, appalled at his gesture.

"Raine--" Ellone said. I hushed her up and stepped a bit further from the counter.

"I only serve food and drinks," I said. "If you're looking for something _other _than that, I suggest you go to Deling City." The two mustached men with glasses of water looked at each other and grinned. One said, " C'mon baby. We just want a little bit of fun while we're on break . . ."

"Yeah," said the bald man that Ellone was speaking to before. "After patrolling this place for a week, we've been noticing your quaint lil' pub. You're da youngest and prettiest thing in dis town . . . And quite frankly, we're all tired of looking . . . if ya know what I mean." I narrowed my eyes, understanding him completely.

"Raine . . ." said Ellone. "Is sumthing wong?"

"Look, it's not like we won't pay you," he continued. He put a thick wad of gil in front me, snickering mischeviously. "We'll make it worth your while."

"What are you suggesting?" I questioned, playing dumb and trying to stay discreet in order to protect Ellone from his innuendos. "I run an honest business here and if you're hungry, I'll feed you . . . But otherwise, I suggest that you all leave!"

"But we are hungry . . ." said the bearded man, standing up.

"I suggest your 100 cooperation on this matter," said the bald man sitting next to him. He stood up too and tapped the gun that was hanging from his belt. I looked at the gun and saw the other three men showing their weapons as well. Ellone grabbed my hand and stood closer to me. I could feel her shaking, a small whimper escaped her tiny mouth. I looked down at Ellone, fear in her eyes.

"Ellone . . ." I said. She looked up at me. I smiled casually, hoping that it was enough to comfort her. "Go upstairs . . . I going to play a game with the customers. And no matter what you hear, don't be afraid, okay?" Ellone's eyes told me she understood. She nodded and scurried away to the staircase. The men watched Ellone as she started off. I walked after her, making sure none of the men would try to grab her. I stood at the foot of the stairs as she ran. When she was gone, I turned back around and nervously directed all of my attention to the men.

"You're a smart girl . . ." said the bald man who Ellone was talking to before. The other two men finished up their glasses of water and stood up. All four of them began to come around the counter, walking toward the stairs where I was standing. My heart started pounding and my forehead began to sweat, showing how tense the moment was. "Don't be scared, baby," said the bald soldier as he neared me. "It's all fun n' games . . . right?" I swallowed hard as I stared at the leering men. I was scared for some reason . . . But I tried to turn my fear into confidence. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I hope Ellone won't get too scared, I said to myself. I think Ellone knows what to do. I just hope she remembers . . .! I looked up at the ceiling and screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEBODY . . . ANYBODY! PLEASE HELP! THERE'S A FIRE! A FIRE!" The men jumped at the sound of me screaming. They all looked at each other, panicking. The bald man tried to shut me up, cupping my mouth. I kicked him in leg and bit him and kept on screaming 'HELP' and 'FIRE' over and over again. I punched two of them and stumped on someone's foot. I continued to fight, praying that they wouldn't draw their weapons. I could hear Ellone upstairs, screaming it out the windows too.

"FIRE FIRE! FIRE FIRE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FIRE FIRE! FIRE FIRE!" Ellone shouted. The four soldiers, still confused, all turned tail and ran out of the pub as fast as they could, three of them dropping their helmets on their way out the door. As soon as they were gone, I started laughing, quietly at first and then more loudly. I thought it was funny, but I was also . . . relieved. Ellone came running downstairs and lunged at me. I bent down to hug her.

"You did a good job!" I told her. "I'm so glad to have you as my assistant!"

"Sumbody has 2 pwotect yoo, Raine!" she said, giggling. I hugged her even tighter, still partially trying to calm myself. Chasing off perverted soldiers was just a precaution, one that I had never had to do before. But I had to do what was necessary to keep my pub safe for me and Ellone. Wow! I said to myself. I pulled it off . . .! I did a small victory dance on the inside before standing up with Ellone in my arms. I looked over the counter, seeing the helmets left behind. Then I looked down at the counter. There, where the men had been sitting, was the wad of gil. I poked at it and frowned. I don't want this, I said to myself. I don't need it. Ellone looked at me and then at the money. "What r yoo going 2 do, Raine? That's allotta jil . . ."

"You mean gil . . ." I corrected her. "And I don't know. I don't want to keep it . . . Maybe I'll offer it to some people around town . . . We don't really need it. . ." I hesitated. "But then again, I can't think of anyone who would take it . . ."

"Nobody shood keep it . . ." I thought about what she said as I looked at the money on the counter. Maybe I should count it? I shook off the thought, looked at Ellone, and nodded.

"You're absolutely right . . ." I said. "And I know exactly where I'm gonna put it now!" I said.

"Where?"

"It's a secret . . . I'll tell when I come back, okay?"

"Yoor going now? Can I come 2?"

"No. You're going to stay with Widow Cooper, alright?" I told Ellone. "It's dangerous where I'm headed and I don't want you to get hurt . . ."

"Be'cus of the monsters, right?" asked Ellone, hanging her head down low.

"When you're older, you can come with me . . ." I said. I put her down and grabbed the wad of gil. "We'll be able to fight together and show those monsters who's boss one day, right?" Ellone nodded and smiled.

"O-tay . . . Let's go 2 Coopo's house . . ." said Ellone. I shook my head and said, "First, we eat!"

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A bit more than an hour later, Ellone and I headed outside to Ms. Cooper's house. I walked hand-in-hand with Ellone and had my sharpened stick that I would only use on monsters in the other hand. I carried the wad of gil in my pocket and it bulged with the size of the money that was inside. How much did they give me? I asked myself. I can't believe the nerve of those guys. I burned at the thought. They'll get what they deserve one day, I reassured myself. Ellone and I walked up the dusty road quietly, saying hello to those that we passed. I ran into two people who told me that they heard my 'fire alarm' and had seen the soldiers running out of my pub. We would laugh about it for a couple of minutes and then Ellone and I would continue down our path. But as I walked on, I couldn't help but think. No one came running to help us, I said to myself. The 'fire alarm' was a precaution that was supposed to get people to help if I can't fight the bad guys off alone. It's so strange that no one . . . not a single person came to check on me afterwards. What a troubling thought, I sighed to myself. I shouldn't be shocked though. I'm always on my own . . . I always will be. I've already accepted that fate . . . haven't I? A little further up the road, I could see a field of white and pink flowers. Ellone let go of my hand and ran up to the field, bending over the flowers to smell them.

"They smel soooo good!" she exclaimed. "Can I pic sum, Raine?" I nooded to her and waited as she picked away. I smiled at her as she hummed to herself. As I watched her, more troubling thoughts came into my mind. I put my hand on my bulging pocket and sighed. What if that stunt didn't work . . . my fire alarm? I asked myself. The fire plan might not work every time and I can't imagine what would happen if it didn't. I intently watched Ellone as she curiously looked at a bee buzzing by. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I'm unable to protect her. Am I strong enough to raise her . . . to protect her? Ellone looked back at me, as if she heard me thinking about her. A little smile appeared on her face, comforting me. She ran over and grabbed my hand. "R yoo o-tay, Raine?" Ellone asked.

"I'm fine," I answered, discarding my uneasy thoughts. "It's just . . . been a strange day . . ."

"Let's go!" Ellone said, attempting to pull me along with her. We continued our walk down the road and I started feeling better. I know I can take care of Ellone . . . I'll do whatever it takes, even if I have to do it by myself. Soon after our flower field excursion, we arrived at Ms. Cooper's house and I quietly walked in with Ellone.

"Ms. Cooper?" I said. I received no response. "Hello?"

"Raine . . ." I heard a old, sweet voice. "Is that you, dear?" I answered yes and ventured deeper inside her residence. Slowly, the old woman came into view, her gray hair shining a bit due to the dim sunlight coming in through the window. Slowly she stood up from her rocking chair and warmly smiled at us. "Oh Raine, how are you, dear?"

"I'm fine," I answered. Ellone let go of my hand and ran to Ms. Cooper.

"Hi!" Ellone said as Ms. Cooper opened her arms to her. Ellone gave her a hug and quickly let go, holding up her hand with a small bouquet of flowers. Ms. Cooper smiled and said, "Aren't you just the sweetest little thing . . ." She looked at me as sat back down in her rocking chair. "Raine, I take it you're going somewhere?"

"Yes . . ." I answered. "I'm heading off and I'll be back within the hour. I hate to do this so suddenly but can you keep Ellone until I get back?"

"Of course, dear . . ." Ms. Cooper replied. "It's my pleasure to help out when I can. And it's not like I'm going anywhere." I looked at Ellone as she sat on a small pink sofa and picked up a book and pretended to read. I walked up to her and bent down to talk to her.

"Now you be good, okay?" I said. "If I get a good report, I'll make your favorite dessert . . ." Ellone gasped.

"Coookys!" Ellone exclaimed excitedly. I quickly followed up her outburst, saying, "_But_ you have to be good . . ."

"I'll take good care of her," Ms. Cooper promised. I nodded at them and made my way to the door. "Raine?" I heard Ms. Cooper say as I neared the door. I turned around to see her standing again. "Are you alright?" she asked, walking closer to me. I nodded. "I heard you and Ellone screaming and I just wanted to know if you were okay. . . I'd hate for you to get hurt by them Galbajan soldiers . . . You being a young woman and all . . ."

"Oh, the fire alarm?" I said casually. "That was nothing. I'm fine and so is Ellone . . ."

"I can see that and I'm sorry that they treated you that way."

"I'm always prepared!" I laughed. "Don't worry about me . . ." Ms. Cooper smiled uneasily. "Is something wrong, Ms. Cooper?"

"Listen, Raine . . . I don't expect there to be many changes in Winhill's protection and the soldiers are only going to get worse and worse with you being such a pretty 17 year old . . ."

"Ms. Cooper--"

"Just listen, Raine . . ." she interrupted me. "The people around here aren't capable of protecting you. You and Ellone are the youngest things in this part of the country. There are no men in the city to protect either of you other than the patrollers, and half of them have made it clear that they are interested in you.

"I'm not looking for any--"

"Raine," Ms. Cooper interrupted me again. " . . . soon, more men will come to patrol here in Winhill after fighting in the war. I'm sure many of them are looking for someone to cook for them . . . someone to come home to . . ."

"What are you talking about, Ms. Cooper?" I asked, not understanding the point of her wordy explanation.

"What I'm saying is that maybe you should start looking for someone to protect you . . .You won't always be able to protect Ellone and I'd hate to think that you'd be overpowered by men that didn't fall for your 'fire alarm' . . ." She paused as she thought of what else to say. "As a woman who is now a widow, Raine, please listen. You need to be protected like a woman should be . . ." she said. "You need someone to marry and take care of you and Ellone . . ." Whatever, I said to myself. I was a little insulted by her words, although I knew she was trying to give me advise.

"Ms. Cooper, I appreciate your concern . . . But I'm fine. Ellone and I are being taken care of somehow. I have faith that whatever we need will come when it comes . . ." Ms. Cooper looked down at the bouquet of flowers in her hands.

"Don't you . . . don't you get lonely, dear?" she coyly asked. "I miss my husband everyday . . . I'm sure you feel lonely sometimes . . ." I smiled at her.

"You're just fine on your own, right, Ms. Cooper? Besides, I'm not alone. I have Ellone, Ms. Cooper . . . In fact, I'm never alone . . . I need Ellone and Ellone needs me and I wouldn't have it any other way. So I have no time to feel lonely." I paused as I thought. "Besides, I don't mind protecting us. It's what I _want _to do." I walked up to her and grabbed her hands. " But thank you for worrying about us . . . really . . ." She looked at me curiously and then smiled. "I'll be back soon . . ." I bowed to her and walked outside, closing the door behind me. I quietly made my way to where I wanted to go . . .

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I walked and walked, avoiding monsters along my way. I treaded through the grass, determined to get where I needed to go. It was a little scary and all I had was my sharpened stick. Pitiful, yes, but I'd use it if necessary. I took my time going through the grass fields of Galbadia. I needed some time to myself, I guess. I was a little absent minded as I walked . . . yet alert. And I didn't have to fight anything other than small monsters. As I got closer and closer to my destination, I could see the sun in the distance and the moon slowly starting to take its place as sky turned orange and fuchsia. The day had been so normal at first, but now it had me full of doubts and worry. I can't wait for this day to end, I said to myself as I reached the beach.

I dropped my stick on the sand, leaving it there, and then took off my shoes, picking them up and taking them along with me. I walked on the sand, trying to empty my head. The cool sand got between my toes, lightly scratching the bottom of my feet. I can't stay here long, I told myself. I gotta go back as soon as I throw the money into the ocean. I walked further out in the sand and let the ocean breeze hit my face. "I'll throw you in the ocean . . ." I said, patting my bulging pocket. " . . . and we'll let the water decide what to do with you." I stared straight out at the water, smiling. "The water will cleanse this and carrying it will no longer be my burden . . ." I slowly got closer and closer to the water as I inhaled the fresh ocean air. I don't want to leave here, but I can't stay. I looked at the ground and decided that I'd sit down for just a few minutes. "I guess I've been looking for a reason to come here," I said aloud. The ocean's water usually calmed me after a long day when I was younger. So I plopped my shoes down next to me and watched the water as it barely went over my toes. My toes sank into the soggy sand where the water rushed over the ground. I smiled at the coolness of the water. I stared out at it, letting its tranquility take me over.

Ellone would love it here, I said to myself. She could run free for a change. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. "God, I want to be free . . ." I whispered. I feel like I'm in a box. The world is closed to me and I'm afraid of what is out there, I thought as I looked back out at the vastness of the ocean. Can't I just float away? I asked the ocean. Everything is routine . . . everything is the same. And when something changes . . . when something goes wrong . . . like today at the pub . . .I freak out! But why am I so worked up over this? Other places are so much more dangerous than Winhill. I hesitantly laughed to myself. Maybe it's because this is my first time I've done this drill, I told myself. But still, no one came to see what was wrong . . . What if the drill didn't work? What if they had-- I shook off the thought. I can fight. I did fight. I did a good job, didn't I? I asked the ocean. I'm may not be a man and I know that I'm not as strong as one. But I can fight back. I know I can do that . . . but . . . will that be . . . enough . . .?

The doubts and troubles of my heart weighed down on me. Tears ran down my face as I thought on. All I need is Ellone and the pub, I told myself, trying to reassure myself. I can do the rest . . . I've always done the rest. The water swayed back in forth, reflecting the fiery sun in its crystal blue waters. Let it out, the ocean called to me. I stared out, trying to control my emotions. The breeze rose up and invoked even more tears. My heart felt so weak as I watched the water sparkling, calling for me to let go of myself for just a moment. Then, I just broke down and my heart gave into pain that had been building up inside of me. My vision got so blurry that I couldn't see the place where the ocean and the sky met. Constantly I tried to wipe the tears that just wouldn't stop. I just sat there and cried about anything . . . everything, something I hadn't done since Mom and Dad died nine years ago. I needed to vent. The tears brought more painful memories to mind but, at the same time, alleviated me. After being treated like a whore . . . and then being told that I may not be strong enough to protect Ellone was just too much for me to bare in one day. What if I can't face something more dangerous than that? I asked myself. What if . . . What if Ms. Cooper was right . . .?

No! I told myself. "I know I can do it . . ." I whispered, bringing my knees up to my chest. "Ellone needs me and I need her. I won't let anyone hurt me because I need to protect her . . ." I buried my face in arms and just cried silently as if to stop from embarrassing myself. I felt like a hopeless little girl. There is no one more important in my life than Ellone. She's all the family that I have left, I said to myself. I just need more . . . strength. I whimpered as I thought on. I need the strength to protect her . . . to give her the childhood that she needs. I took a deep breathe and tried to stop the tears again. I'll just try harder to get stronger, I told myself. I'll work so hard that I'll . . . I trailed off in my thoughts as I centered myself once more. I'll be able to find the strength I need to protect . . . us. I raised my face to the sky and opened my eyes, still welled up with tears. I straightened out my legs and felt the water wash over my feet again. "I know I can get through this. . ." I said quietly, breathing in the air. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a puffy white cloud, bouncing along the canvas of purples and blues. The sun was finally fading and the full moon was starting to take over the sky. The sky comforted me somehow and I smiled. I can do this . . . I needed to come here so I could cry today. I felt lighter, as if a burden was lifted. I still have my faith, I said to myself. My needs . . . Ellone's needs . . . they will be met. "Somehow . . ." I whispered. "Whatever I need . . . will come . . . when it comes . . . . . ."

I realized how late it was as I sat and watched the evening slowly disappearing into the night. I wiped away my tears and smiled at the high moon. I wasn't looking at the ocean anymore because the moon was shining through my soul, giving me all the tranquility I needed. I should leave soon, I told myself. I've gotta make those cookies for Ellone! With a renewed sense of myself, I was ready to take on the world. As I began to stand up, I felt something bump my feet which were still in the water. I lowered my eyes from the sky and looked toward my feet. I gasped at the sight I saw. "AHHH!" I jumped back from the dark lump that laid at my feet. How didn't I see that coming? I asked myself, my heart pounding with panic. I guess I was so distracted by the moon that I didn't see it . . .

I observed it from where I was sitting, fearing that it was some sort of sea creature or monster and that it would eat my feet if I didn't act soon. I better do this slowly, I told myself. But something inside of me urged me to get closer. I was drawn to the still figure that laid on the beach at my feet. I might regret this, I said to myself as I got on my knees and crawled closer to the blue figure. I could see legs outstretching into he ocean and two arms grabbing on to a board of some kind. There was a beam of light coming from the sky . . . from the moon. This light allowed me to see . . . a pale face, partially covered by dark hair, eyes closed. The gloved hands of the figure were clasped onto the board underneath it and the other side of its face was pressed against the board as if it were a pillow. My eyes widened as I stared in terror, realizing what I was looking at. **"Oh my God! A body!" **

I hastily stood up, accidentally kicking it in the right shoulder. I heard a quiet moan came from the presumed dead body. I gasped at the sound of a deep voice. Is it-- is it still alive? I asked, still backing away. The motionless body just laid there on its belly. Still scared, I defied my fear and walked up to the body. I went to its side and looked down at the body. I got down on my knees and touched one of its gloved hands. I put my hand on the back of its head and felt its wet, smooth jet black hair. I carefully ran my fingers through the hair, as if I were trying to comfort it. "Can you hear me?" I said to it. There was no reply. I took my hands out of its hair and reached to pull the board away from the body. It took a minute to maneuver, but I managed to remove to board from the body's grasp. And still . . . the body didn't move, convincing me that the person before me was definitely dead. I don't know why, but even though it was dead, something deep inside told me to handle the body with care. I carefully pushed the heavy body over so that it was laying on its back. Immediately and for the first time, I saw the face of the figure that had been delivered to me by the ocean.

It . . . it was a man. His black hair laid wildly on the ground full of sand and damp with the ocean's water. It was easy to see that he was badly injured. His face was so pale . . . so . . . drained. He looked as if he were sleeping on the beach. I stared at this man, his . . . face. Poor guy . . . I said to myself. I suddenly remembered that he had made a sound before when I kicked him. He made a sound earlier, so maybe he's still alive, I told myself. "I hope you're not dead," I said aloud, my face burning. "It'd be a shame if you came all this way to be dead on a beach." I put my hand on his chest and tried to feel a heartbeat. I didn't feel anything. Maybe I was just hearing things when I heard that voice, I said to myself. I bent over him and stared at his face some more. "A Galbadian soldier . . ." I said. "He must have been killed in the war . . . How sad . . ." I looked at his tattered uniform. His belt, which had somehow managed to stay on him on his journey through the ocean, had a gun on it inside of a oddly shaped pocket. He had cuts on his legs and arms and one of his boots was missing. Even though there were so many things to observe on his beaten and defeated body, I couldn't seem to stop staring at his face. I admired the look on it, although is had a cuts on it. "If you can hear me, sir," I said to him. "You look like such a gentle man," I said to him. "A little waterlogged . . . but gentle, all the same . . ."

I wonder what color his eyes were, I asked myself. I've never seen anyone like him before. I looked down his body again before I got to his face once more. He looked so vulnerable . . . so helpless . . . as if he'd been born out of the water that eventually drowned him. I felt my face get warm at the thought of touching his cheek. I had been staring at him for quite some time when I decided to pull his legs out of the water. I got behind him and hinged my arms under his armpits. Somehow I managed to pull him away from the cold water. I gently put him back down on dry sand and went back to his side again. Why can't I stop staring at you? I asked myself. You're dead . . . and yet your face is so intriguing to me. Now that I had moved him, he was illuminated by the moon and the water on his legs was seeping into the dry sand. Should I touch the dead? I asked myself. Maybe I shouldn't have touched him . . . I should have just let him float away, I guess . . . I tried to get up and leave, but for some reason, I couldn't leave him . . . not yet . . .

"Handsome . . ." I whispered. He's very . . . handsome, I awkwardly continued to myself. I fought the urge to touch his pale face as I got lost in the features of it. I had never seen a man that I had thought to be . . . attractive . . . until now. But he was dead. I reached over his forehead and touched the long part of his hair that was in his face. You may be dead, I said to him in my mind as if his soul could hear me. But everything about you is still very pleasing to the eyes, no matter how tattered you are. I stopped touching his hair and decided to bless the dead man that laid before me. "Rest in peace," I whispered, placing a hand over his eyes, my heart pounding. I said a silent prayer for him as I sat by his side. "May your soul find its place . . . Uh. . ." I stalled for a moment, looking at his name on a tag on his chest. I tried to read it the best I could but I barely make it out because it was so worn away. "And may you find peace in your journey . . . uh . . . Soldier L. Loire . . ."


	2. Tears of Loire

**Chapter two: Tears of Loire**

I sat there in the night, my eyes closed. My hand was still over his eyes and I was still having a hard time abandoning him. He deserves to be buried, at least, I said to myself. But I knew I didn't have the strength nor the equipment to do that. Leaving you here just seems wrong, I thought. I opened my eyes and looked down at his worn down name tag. "There's nothing I can really do for you, sir . . ." I sighed. "I need to get home to Ellone. I'm sorry." I closed my eyes again, saying one last prayer for him. "I'm really . . . sorry ."

I opened my eyes again and looked up at the sky. Why am I apologizing? I asked myself. He's dead . . . I know he can't hear me. "Aww well . . ."I sighed. I slowly removed my hand from his face, revealing the impossible. His two open eyes, staring at me. My eyes widened at his gaze. "AHHH!" I screamed, scooting away from him, nearly falling over.

"Shi-" he uttered weakly, flinching. I realized that I accidentally had kicked him in the arm. That's twice now that he's startled me like that, I said to myself.

"Oops . . ." I said, my face burning with embarrassment. He slowly turned his head and looked at me, his piercing jade eyes regaining their focus. So his eyes are . . . green? I asked myself, remembering the question I had asked myself before. He blinked a few times as he looked at me. My heart was pounding. So . . . he's not dead? I looked at him as his chest stiffly began to rise and fall. It was obvious that his breathing was labored. His face was expressionless at first as he took deep breaths, still staring at me. Then . . . he smiled. I gasped at the sight of it. It was such a carefree smile for someone so beat up and tattered. I could see kindness in his pale face as a quiet laugh escaped him; but it didn't last very long due to the pain that he was feeling.

"I . . ." he said very quietly. His voice was so weak at first. I struggled to hear him. "I didn't mean to . . . scare you . . ." I continued to look at him as he tried to speak. "Man, I thought I was . . . dead for sure . . ."

"Are you OK?" I asked almost too quickly. I could feel butterflies in my stomach as he slowly nodded his head to my question. "I thought you were dead too . . ." I said.

"I heard you . . . talkin' . . ." he said, his voice gradually regaining its strength. "So I thought . . .Hey, maybe there's still . . . some life in me yet . . ." He laughed again for a short moment. You heard what I said? I asked him in my mind. I was a little embarrassed, but my heart was pounding so hard that whatever he had heard me say before just wasn't that important anymore. He slowly turned his head towards the sky, his face scrunching up as he moved. I could see the pain he was feeling in his face. He tried to move his arms as if preparing to sit up. His hands grabbed the sand as he futilely attempted to get up. It was hard for me to watch. I cringed with his anguished face. I hated to see him suffering like that. Unable to sit still anymore, I quickly crawled back to him, saying, "Let me help you . . ." I put one arm across his back for support and placed my other hand on his shoulder. I, little by little, pushed him up into a sitting position, but he couldn't stay that way for long due to the pain in his back. He slumped over to the side, falling into my arms.

"Dammit . . ." he said quietly. He laid his head on my chest, panting in pain. I loosened my grip on his shoulder and allowed my arm to cradle his back. He was heavy and I could feel his fatigue weighing down on me. I could no longer see his face. All I could see was the hair on top of his head. "I'm so . . . sorry . . ." he whispered. "You . . . don't have to . . . help me . . ."

"I want to . . ." I said to him, my face growing hot as he helplessly rested in my arms. "If I leave you here, I'll feel guilty . . ."

"But . . . don't you need to get home . . .?" he asked, a little bit of worry in his voice.

"Oh . . ." I remembered Ellone. I do need to get home. Ellone needs me and . . . "I promised I'd make her cookies tonight . . ." I said, finishing my thought out loud.

"Huh? Cookies . . .?" he said. "What was that?"

"Ellone . . ." I whispered.

"Go home," he ordered me. I looked down at the sand. But I can't just leave him here . . . he needs help and right now, I'm the only one who can help him. I felt him move in my arms, his head coming up and bumping my chin.

"Ouch . . ." I said, wincing.

"Sorry . . . Didn't you . . . hear me? I said . . . go home . . . I'll be-- " I felt him shudder in pain, his words interrupted by it. How could I leave him there . . .? That would be cruel. I could hear and feel his labored breathing and he leaned into me more and more. He's so weak. If I left him here, I'd feel responsible for killing him. I thought and thought, trying to come up with something. Then . . . it came to me. I slowly moved him back to the ground, trying so hard not to cause him even more pain. He groaned in pain as I did this, but he didn't complain. Once he laid on the ground again, I could see that his eyes were closed again. "Don't worry about me . . . Just go home . . ." he said.

"I'm not going to abandon you . . ." I said, disobeying his command. "I'm going to go and get help for you. I can't drag you to Winhill on my own. Can you fend for yourself until I get back . . .?" I watched him as he started laughing quietly again. "What's so funny?" I asked, confused. "This isn't funny! Don't you see that your life is in danger? This is really serious!"

"It's so funny . . ." he said. "What kinda question is that? Fend for myself? It's not like I can . . . fight back or anything. . ." He started laughing again, getting just a little louder.

"I'll be back in . . ." I thought of a time limit. " . . .20 minutes. OK?" I put my shoes back on and started to run towards the grass. I stopped when I heard him speaking again.

"I can't move or protect myself, ya know. If something comes along . . . I might as well jump into their belly . . ." He started laughing a bit harder. "So if I'm not here when you come back, Miss . . . you'll know what happened," he cackled quietly. How can this idiot laugh at a time like this? I walked back up to him and looked down at his face. He opened his eyes, looking up at me. A smile appeared on his face. I knew that he was probably joking around to stay calm . . . but I could see what true pain he was in through his jade eyes. I bent down, mad at him for some reason. I smacked his cheek kind of hard, his face wincing at the impact of my hand. "What the f--?"

"You're not gonna give up! And I'm not going to let you die . . ." I said. "Don't talk like that because if I'm going to leave you here, you have to be able to survive a little bit longer." He stared at me, his eyes glistened a bit from the smack I gave him. "I promise I'll come back . . . but you have promise me you'll hang on . . ." He looked at me, shocked from what I was asking him. He smiled and closed his eyes once more, nodding to my question.

"I'll hang on . . . for as long as I can . . ." he said with a sigh. I smiled at him and started running towards the grass again. I bent down and picked up my sharpened stick, stopping to look back at him for just a moment.

"I'll be back!"

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I made it back to Winhill in one piece, realizing after I got back, that I had dropped my sharpened stick along the way. Darn . . .I said to myself. But my stick wasn't important. I ran to Ms. Cooper's as fast as I could. The roads in the town were empty besides some patrolling soldiers here and there. I got to Ms. Cooper's minutes later and found myself banging on her door. "Widow Cooper!" I yelled. "Widow--" The door swung open, revealing the old woman.

"Oh Raine . . ." she said. "Dear Lord, you scared me . . . Is there something the matter?"

"I needed to check on Ellone . . ." I said. " . . . And I needed to tell you that I need help . . ."

"Whatever do you mean, dear?" I told her about the man on the beach and that I needed help getting him into Winhill. Ms. Cooper looked at me worriedly as I told my story. I ended my story with, "I promised him I'd come back . . . I can't just leave him there . . ."

"But dear, who in this town is going to help you?" Ms. Cooper asked. "Everyone is too old and you know _I_ can't help you . . ." I looked down, admitting that she was right about that. Then who can help me? I asked. I shook my head of my thoughts of the poor man for a moment. Putting that matter aside, I asked about Ellone.

"She's in the dining room, drawing a picture, dear. Do you want to see her . . .?"

"I don't have time . . ." I said. "Could you watch her just a little longer?" I asked.

"Yes dear," she said. "You be careful out there . . . And don't kill yourself trying to save this young lad, Raine . . . It might already be too late." I thought about what she said. She might be right, I said to myself, doubting that I could save this man for a moment. No . . . I shook off that thought. I'm not going to let him die! I was determined to help him.

I ran off, looking for someone that could help me. All the people in this town are simply too old to help me though, I told myself. I slowed down to a complete stop, trying to catch my breath. What am I going to do? I asked myself. I could go out there and drag him back . . . but if I did that, it would take all night to get past monsters and protect him at the same time. I remembered what he said before I left. _I'll hang on . . . for as long as I can . . ._ I bent over, placing my hands on my knees. I promised him I'd come back. Even if I come back alone, I'm coming back. I stood back up again, trying to regain my confidence. I looked straight ahead and saw a Galbadian soldier on patrol. Of course! I said. Galbadian soldiers would help their own men, wouldn't they? I asked myself.

"Excuse me!" I yelled, running up to the man. His helmet turned to look at me. I stopped in front of the man, catching my breath. "Sir, I need your help . . ."

"What's the problem, suga?" he asked. I was sickened by his words, but I ignored them for the moment.

"There's a Galbadian soldier who is badly injured on the beach . . ." I started. "I wasn't strong enough to help him . . . But I came back here to get help . . ."

"Okay . . ." said the soldier. "And . . ."

"And . . . What?" I asked. "That's all . . .! He needs help!"

"So?" I widened my eyes at his question.

"But he's a fellow soldier . . . I'm sure he would do the same for you!"

"If he's a Galbadian soldier, then he should be able to take care of himself. Besides, that's what the training is for . . ."

"But . . . he needs help. I promised him I'd come back for him and if you guys don't help me, this man is going to die . . ."

" . . . That's not my problem . . ." I stared at the man, glaring at him. I was so disgusted with what I was hearing.

"What is wrong with you?! You're telling me that you'd let a man die because you're too dam-- . . ." I paused for a moment, catching myself from using bad language.

"What's this? Young women shouldn't have such filthy mouths. You'll never catch a husband that way," he chuckled. I ignored what he said and continued.

" . . . You're too lazy to help him . . . _You _deserve to be laying out there with him. You wouldn't last out there in that ocean for two seconds." I started laughing. "It all makes sense now! That's why they stationed all of you in Winhill . . . because you're so weak." The soldier had stopped laughing at that point. "You deserve to be beaten and injured like that soldier is. Then you could see how it feels to truly suffer!" The man glared at me. "_You're heartless_!" I screamed at him as another soldier walked up.

"Is there a problem here?" asked the soldier who just walked up. "I heard this woman was running through the town. And now she's screaming too . . . " I looked at the second soldier. The first soldier explained to him what the problem was and they both looked at me again. "Okay . . ." said the second soldier. "What's this soldier's name . . .?" I had to think for a moment.

"His first name started with an 'L' and his last name was 'Loire' . . ." I told them. They looked at each other. They both shrugged, telling me they didn't know who I was talking about.

"So if we help you . . ." said the second soldier, taking off his helmet and revealing his short blonde hair and dark eyes. "What's in it for us . . .?" I looked to the side so I didn't have to look at these soldiers for a moment. What is wrong with these men? I asked myself furiously. I don't have anything to offer them. I thought deeply, searching for the answer.

"I can give you food half off at my pub," I offered. "It's good food and it's a good deal . . ."

"We heard from a couple of friends of ours today that the food there tastes like shit . . ." said the first soldier.

"That's probably why they came running out of it today . . ." said the blonde-haired soldier, dropping his helmet. "Man, that was hilarious!" The two men started laughing uncontrollably. "Now if the food was free, I'd eat there . . ." he added suggestively.

"But I need money in order to get what I need," I said. "I can't give food for free . . ."

"You could . . . but you're just too stingy. Besides you'd have a better business there if you sold something more useful like weapons . . ." exclaimed the first soldier. " . . . or maybe something a bit more interesting . . ." Through his helmet, one of his eye brows went up, implying his suggestion with his eyes. He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. "Has anyone ever told you that you're very pretty . . .?" I pushed his hand off of my shoulder, stepping away from the two men.

"So you're not going to help to help me . . .?" I asked. "Then I have nothing left to offer you . . ." The second soldier panned down me with his eyes, looking at me from head to toe. As he was looking, he stopped and looked at my hip. I looked down too, confused at what he was staring at. The bulge of my pocket. The money! I yelled to myself. I didn't throw it into the ocean . . . I can't believe I forgot to do that when that was the reason why I wanted to go there in the first place. I wanted to hit myself, cursing my ability to not follow through with my plans for the dirty money.

"Look at what we've got here . . ." said the second soldier, walking up to me. He reached out, making the attempt to touch the pocket on my hip. I pushed his hand away and slapped him as hard as I possibly could with the other hand. "Dammit . . ." hollered the blonde-haired man fell to the ground, holding his cheek on the way down. The other soldier drew out his gun, putting it against my neck where my pulse was. The other soldier slowly stood up, laughing. "Whatta vixen . . ." he said, walking up to me again. He came up really close to me, putting his mouth up my ear. "Listen up, sweetheart. You better not do that again . . ." He put his hand on my waist, grabbing and pulling me closer. He slowly moved his hand down. "Do you know how long it's been since I've touched a woman . . . Huh? " I tried so hard to stop my trembling. I was so scared. "You should be delighted that I chose you . . ." I felt like a piece of meat. Why am I so weak? I asked myself, looking over at the gun that was pointed at me. There was nothing I could do with a gun to my neck. No one could fight a bullet and I knew I was no exception. "Perhaps you'll think before you slap a soldier again, you little bitch . . ." the blonde haired man whispered to me.

"Why are you shaking so bad, suga?" asked the soldier who had his gun to my neck. The blonde-haired soldier started laughing as his hand moved down to my hip. I wanted so badly to punch him . . . but again the gun terrified me. He slowly reached into my pocket, grabbing the gil there.

"She must be a virgin . . ." the blonde-haired soldier said. He removed his hand from my pocket and quickly came away from my ear. "Look at me . . ." I closed my eyes, unable to look at either of the men. "_I said look at me_!" His yelling startled me, making me jump a little. I kept my eyes closed, refusing to look at him. I gasped as I heard the sound of a gun cocking.

"Do as the man says," snapped the other soldier. I opened my eyes and looked at the blonde-haired man.

"Whatta a beauty . . ." said the blonde-haired man, putting the money against my chin. "How much gil is this?" he asked.

"I-- I don't know . . ." I confessed.

"Don't make us sit here all night, suga . . ." said the soldier with his gun, pressing harder into my neck.

"It's not even about the money, is it?" asked the blonde-haired soldier.

"I truly don't know how much it is . . ." I said, my voice shaking. "I didn't count it before I put it in m--" "Admit it . . . you like this, don't you?" asked the blonde-haired man, sneering at me. I stared at the man, utterly revolted. "If you don't, then why don't you fight back . . .?" The other soldier with the gun to my neck started laughing, knowing the answer to that question. The blonde haired man leaned in to kiss me, his mouth open and taunting. I narrowed my eyes at the blonde-haired soldier. Then I spat in his face so quickly that he had no time to close his eyes.

"I hope you liked that!" I said. The soldier blinked strangely, trying to get spit out of his eyes. He raised his other hand to me preparing to slap me in return. I didn't move.

"You little--"

"**Stop**!" came a voice. We all looked over at another soldier who was wearing a red uniform.

"Major Ross!" the blonde-haired man and the other soldier said, surprised to see the man standing there. "Wh--What are y- you doin' here?" asked the soldier with his gun to my neck.

"**Let that woman go**!" Major Ross yelled. "**Now**!" The blonde-haired man stepped away from me. The other soldier withdrew his gun. Major Ross walked up to me, apologizing over and over. "What's your name, young lady?"

"Ra-Raine . . ." I answered. He quickly asked me what had happened. I told him everything about the soldier on the beach. He was very understanding, yet stern. "Are you alright?" asked Major Ross. I nodded and smiled.

"I'm fine . . ." I replied. "Just a little shaken . . ."

"**George . . . Thatcher . . . Find four more men and go get this Loire fellow out from the beach!" **shouted Major Ross. **"And give this woman back her gil, Thatcher!"**

"No . . ." I said, looking at he Major. "I'm not sure how much is there but I don't want that money. As far as I'm concerned, they can keep it . . ."

"Are you sure?" the Major asked. I nodded. "Alright, I'll come along, but you'll need to help us get there." I nodded again.

"I'll . . . show you the way . . ."

-------------------------------------

We came up on the beach after a brisk run through the grassy fields of Galbadia. I found it strange that we actually ran into monsters on the way to the beached man. The six soldiers and Major Ross protected me along way and I'm grateful for that. (Although . . . I never did find my sharpened stick.)

"We're getting close, aren't we, Miss. Raine?" asked Major Ross. I told him we were almost there. It wasn't too long after that that the beach was in sight. When we came up on the sand, I saw the vulnerable soldier still lying there. I ran to his side and fell to my knees, praying that he was still alive.

"Mr. Loire!" I cried out. I put my hand on his gloved one and shook it. Nothing. "Mr. Loire! Please say something!" Still nothing.

"Is he dead?" asked one of the soldiers.

"This bitch dragged us out here to look at a dead soldier?" asked another; I assumed it was the blonde-haired man from before. They all started talking amongst themselves. The other soldiers' words didn't matter to me though. No . . . No, he can't be . . . I cried to myself. I was too late. I could feel the hot tears welling up in my eyes. I had . . . failed.

"You can't be dead!" I yelled at him. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back and forth, shaking him. Still he said nothing. I dropped my head in guilt. "You said you'd hang on! I came back to you . . . I kept my promise!" I put my forehead on his chest, crying quietly. "Mr. Loire, I'm sorry . . ." The beach was silent and was filled with sound of my crying. "I'm so sorry . . ."

" . . . It's OK. I'm fine . . ." came a voice. I figured it was one of the soldiers just toying with my already guilty conscience. So I ignored whatever it was that I heard. "Miss . . . Hey . . . miss . . . It's alright . . ."

"Huh?" Was that . . .? I sat up again to see the two jade eyes of the soldier laying on the sand.

"That was so totally longer . . . than 20 minutes . . ." I laughed at his comment, relieving myself.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're alive . . ."

"Yeah . . . I kept . . . my promise too . . ." he said through his labored breathing. "I just got tired and fell asleep . . . or passed out . . . or something . . ." He started to laugh a bit then stopped suddenly, seeing the soldiers behind me. "Could you get off my chest . . .? It hurts . . . like hell . . ." he said, a small smile still on his face. He closed his eyes and he grimaced in pain. I grew hot in the face and took my hands off of him. Then he looked at me again. "Why are you crying . . .?" he asked. "I'm OK, really . . ." I looked behind myself.

"Can you men please carry him back to Winhill?" I asked, wiping my wasted tears off of my face.

"Yes . . . it shouldn't be a problem . . ." said Major Ross. "**Let's move out, men**!"

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Getting back on the move again through the Galbadian grasslands was interesting. Mr. Loire screamed and hollered as the men carried him. He was on an old worn down stretcher that could barely support him. It looked more like a hammock in my opinion. I could tell that he was struggling to keep the pain to himself, but that was simply impossible. The soldiers kept telling him to shut up though.

"_Shit! Couldn't you guys be more gentle??? AHHH_!" he would scream. I thought it was really funny, but I didn't laugh because I thought it was cruel. Looks like he's getting his strength back, I said to myself. I could even see tears in his eyes as his face cringed with his pain. I felt sorry for him, but it couldn't be helped. There was nothing I could do. If it wasn't for the light that Major Ross was holding, I wouldn't have been able to see Mr. Loire at all _"Ouch!! Dammit! God--" _Eventually, the tears fell and that was hard for me to watch. I had never seen a man cry before, so it was a first for me. To go from having such a kind face on the beach to being in so much pain. Now that we were walking, it was taking so much longer to get back to Winhill. The landscape was so dark by the time we had crossed half of it. I could barely see and I almost tripped over something. If the soldier wasn't screaming so much, then the walk would've been really quiet_. "ARE WE ALMOST THERE YET!? PLEASE TELL ME WE'RE ALMOST THERE . . .!"_ I looked at him. His eyes were shut so tightly. There were perpetual tears slowly going down his cheeks, which made my heart cringe as I stared at him. I jumped when he screamed again. "_GOD! PLEASE . . . JUST KILL ME NOW!" _he screamed, his voice full of a aching that I couldn't understand. _**"DAMN IT . . . DAMN IT ALL!" **_My eyes started welling up again, but I stopped myself before I could start crying. I stopped walking and soldiers noticed this and stopped too.

"Is something the matter, Miss Raine?" asked Major Ross. I pulled a part of my sweater to my mouth and ripped a big piece of it off. I walked to the pained soldier. He opened his eyes and looked at me, the tears still in his eyes. He was panting very hard now and I waited for him to catch his breath.

"I know it hurts, Mr. Loire . . ." I said. "And I hate to hear you in so much pain . . . but please . . . you have to stay calm and bare it . . ." I twisted the piece of cloth. "Open your mouth . . ." He did so, painfully slow. I put the cloth in his mouth to bite down on. I watched as he closed his mouth. His eyes locked with mine, more tears from his pain welling up in them. I couldn't bare to watch him anymore. Before I could start getting worked up, I walked ahead Mr. Loire and the other men. "Let's go . . ."

The cloth muffled his screaming and for some reason I was even more sensitive to his pain. Just hold on a bit longer, Mr. Loire, I spoke to him in my mind. The look in his eyes was so piercing and it stuck with me, floating in my mind. The soldiers kept complaining about how loud he was and how annoyed they were. Winhill got closer and closer and his screaming to me got worse and worse. He was screaming so loud that by the time we reached Winhill, there were many people coming out of their houses to see what the problem was. There was a lot of commotion and old people were gathering around the entrance of Winhill.

"**Please make way**!" said Major Ross, stepping through the small crowd of older people and ahead of me. "**We have a casualty and he needs attention immediately!**"The small crowd grew silent for a moment. "**Now who is going to take this soldier in? He can't help us patrol in this condition and he needs somewhere to stay**!" I looked out into the crowd, seeing Ms. Cooper and Ellone standing together. All the while, Mr. Loire was still muffled behind me. The people all looked at each other, wondering who would step forward. "**Anyone**?"

"We don't take in outsiders!" said Mr. Kane, an old man. "Outsiders are nothing but trouble." A lot of old people agreed with him, nodding along.

"If we don't help him, he'll die!" I yelled. The people grew quiet and stared at me. Even Mr. Loire shut up for a moment.

"Who said anything about 'we'?" asked old Mrs. Mallory. "I don't want anything to do with outsiders!"

"I'd take him in myself . . ." I said. "But I'm already struggling to take care of Ellone and me . . ."

"Well then . . ." said Mr. Kane. "You're young enough, young lady. You better start learning how to feed another mouth . . ."

"We're simply too old to take care of you young people," said Mr. Jamey. His old wife added, "I'm done raising children. I don't care what anyone says. You found him, you take care of him . . ." Many old people nodded to that comment. The group dispersed and the people started going home. I called for them to stop, but they all ignored me. When they were all gone, all that was left was Ms. Cooper and Ellone.

"Raine!" yelled little Ellone. "I missed yoo!" she came running up to me. I bent down to hug her.

"I missed you too, Ellone . . ." I said half-heartedly because of the new responsibility I didn't ask for. I looked at Ms. Cooper who simply smiled and then walked back towards her house. She doesn't want this responsibility either, I sighed to myself.

"Where should take him, Miss Raine?" asked Major Ross. I told him to follow me and I showed him and all the other soldiers the house next to the pub, the house where Ellone's parents were killed . . .

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After running inside the pub to grab the keys for this house, I led the men inside and directed them upstairs. The walk up the stairs was a quiet one. Mr. Loire had passed out and the piece of cloth I put in his mouth had fallen out. The air was still. We reached the second floor and the six men carrying Mr. Loire went to the nearest bed. Mr. Loire was laid down on that bed and was forsaken by all the soldiers except for the Major. "Do you need anything else before I go, Miss Raine?" he asked.

"No . . ." I responded. I looked at Ellone who was in my arms, falling asleep. "But thank you . . ." He nodded to me and began to walk towards the door.

"Oh and Miss Raine . . ." he said. I turned to look at him. "I will personally punish the soldiers that treated you so badly today . . . both of them . . ." I weakly smiled.

"There were more . . ." I told him. "Two men with mustaches, a bald man, and a man with a beard . . ." The Major looked at me. "I know that's not a good description . . . but it all happened so fast . . ."

"Then I also plan on having them replaced . . ." Major Ross said.

"Thank you . . . I wish there were more like you, sir," I said. Then I remembered the helmets. " There is something else you could do for me, sir." He was all ears. "There are three helmets laying in my pub from another incident today . . ." I told him. "Could you--"

"Don't worry. I'll pick them up . . . That should help me find out who did it," he said with a smile. "You have a good night, Miss Raine . . ." Major Ross walked out. I walked to the other bed in the rundown room and fixed up the bed the best I could. I laid Ellone in it.

"Raine . . ." she said, quietly. "I was good gurl! Ms. Coopo said so."

"Really?" I asked, trying to become absorbed in what she was saying.

"Yea! I made a really pwetty pictur 2 . . ." she added sleepily. I pulled the blanket up and covered her. I got up and turned on a small light that helped Ellone go to sleep. I sat back down and looked at her as she closed her eyes. "It was fun, Raine. I was . . . a good . . . gurl . . ." she trailed off into sleep. I smiled at her and put my head down on the bed.

"Good night, Ellone . . ." I said. "Pleasant dreams . . ."I put my head into the bed and tried not to cry. How am I supposed to take care of this man? I asked myself. I hate this place! No one around here wants to do anything for anyone. Everyone is so selfish and cruel. I hate old peop--

"Shouldn't you . . . be getting some sleep . . . Miss Raine?" I took my head off the bed and looked back at the soldier. He was laying there, his eyes opened. "You have to make cookies for that little girl, right, Miss Raine?" I smiled at his remark, surprised he remembered I said that. He turned his face towards me, that kind smile appearing on face. "Did I say you're name right? You're looking at me like I'm crazy . . ."

"Yes . . . you said it right, Mr.--"

"Laguna . . ." he interrupted me. "When you say _Mr. Loire _. . . I feel so old . . ."

"You need your sleep too," I told him, wiping away any stray tears. "You've come a long way. You need rest more than I do . . ." There was a silence in the room after I said that. I looked down at the ground to escape his eyes.

"So when I saw . . .you were crying earlier . . . I felt so bad . . ." Laguna said, breaking the silence. His voice was quite strained from all of his screaming. I could hear how tired he was as he laid there, breathing slowly. I looked up at him again. I was trying to understand why he said that. "You fought so hard to save me and . . . I still don't . . . understand . . . why . . ."

"I had to do something . . ." I replied. "If you died out there and I knew you needed help, I would've felt responsible for your death." I turned myself completely and crawled over to his bed. His eyes met with mine and he gave me another warm smile. "Why are you smiling?" I asked him, confused. "Aren't you in pain?"

" . . .Yes . . . I am . . ." Laguna said. "But I'm just grateful . . ."

"Oh . . ." I sighed crossing my arms on the bed. I laid my head down on my arms as I fell into thought. What have I gotten myself into? How am I going to nurse this man back to health? I don't have the proper equipment . . . I don't even know where to start. I felt my eyes welling up with tears again. What now? I asked myself. I sighed deeply, losing myself in my troubling thoughts.

" . . . Thank you . . ." Laguna whispered. I felt his gloved hand touch mine. I sat up and looked at his hand on mine. Then he grabbed it gently, causing more pain for himself in the process. He grunted quietly as he strained to hold on to it. I met with his eyes and he stared at me as he spoke. "I don't know what . . . you had to do to get help for me . . . but . . . Thank you . . ." His eyes slowly closed and I watched as a tear ran down his face. The handsome and peaceful face from before reappeared and his cheek remained stained by that one tear. I watched a slight smile appear on his face. I smiled too, his face comforting me. In my silent viewing of him, I knew that this tear wasn't because he was in pain . . .


	3. Private Embarassment

**Chapter three: Private Embarrassment**

I slowly opened my eyes, my face buried in my arms. I turned my head, blinking awkwardly, and looked toward the wall. What a long night, I sighed to myself. How long was I asleep? I looked up and saw the soldier laying there in a peaceful sleep. It was a new day and I was looking at him for the first time in the daylight. His skin looked different. He wasn't so pale any more. I yawned, trying to wake up completely. Perhaps it was the night sky that made him appear so pale, I said to myself. I watched as he breathed, a small snore rising out of him as he breathed in. I giggled. He almost looked dead . . . if it wasn't for his rising and falling chest . . . but I couldn't blame him for looking that way; he had come a long way in the ocean . . .

"Wait a second . . ." I whispered, realizing that I had fallen asleep by Laguna's side. I quickly sat up, embarrassed for some reason. As I moved to take my hands off the bed, I felt the familiar hand on my mine still. I looked down at Laguna's side, looking at our hands. His hand tightened its already weakened grip as I tried to gently pull my hand away. My face burned as I childishly stared at him, admiring the serenity in his face. "Sorry, Laguna . . ." I whispered. "I have to get going . . ." I carefully moved my hand from his, trying not to wake him. I got up on my two feet and turned to look at Ellone who was sitting up in her bed, staring at me.

"Good morning . . ." she said, wiping the last bit of sleep from her eyes. "Did yoo sleep good?"

"I did . . ." I said, picking her up from the bed. "And you?"

"Me 2!" Ellone cheered.

"We need to go open the pub . . ." I told her. "I think we're running late today . . ." Ellone nodded in agreement as she looked over at the bed that Laguna was sleeping in.

"Whoos that?" she asked.

"That's a man we're going to be taking care of for a while . . . He's a soldier . . . " I told her, looking into her bright eyes. "He's hurt . . . so we have to make him feel better . . . alright?"

"O-tay!" she cheered loudly before I put my finger to her mouth, quieting her. I said, "We have to stay quiet though . . . because he's sleeping . . ."

"O-tay . . ." Ellone whispered, putting her finger to her own lips. The two of us made our way to the door quietly. I'll let him sleep for now, I said to myself. I didn't know what I was going to do with him . . . I still didn't know where I was going to start. My mind crowded with thoughts as Ellone and I reached the stairs. As Ellone and I came down the stairs, I made a list in my mind, putting all the things I needed to do for Laguna in order. _First_: I need bandages for his wounds. _Second_: I need extra food-- "Raine . . ." Ellone said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at her as she spoke. "Do yoo tink that I can I git sum flowers 4 Mr. Soljer?" Her question was so cute that I couldn't resist giggling. I smiled at her and nodded, tossing my thoughts aside for the time being. She cheered, but then interrupted herself by putting her finger to her lips again. We continued down the stairs, stopping at a dresser to say good-bye to Ellone's parents. "By By . . ." she said, waving at their pictures. Then we headed out of the house, leaving the sleeping Laguna to himself.

Ellone and I made our way next door, entering the pub. I sent Ellone upstairs to play while I set up for customers. I cleaned off the counter and the tables, letting my mind wander. I guess I'll check on him after lunch, I said to myself. I need to go down to the Supply Store and pick up bandages for him. I walked behind the counter and opened up my secret stash of gil that was hidden in an unnoticeable compartment below the counter. This secret stash was my emergency money, the place where I stored a third of all my earned money at the end of each day, just in case I couldn't make ends meet for any reason. I stood there and counted it carefully.

"There's 6746 gil here . . ." I whispered to myself, verifying the amount. If I only got more business, I said to myself, there would be more money here. I sighed. Aww well . . . I'll use this, I told myself, putting about 500 gil in my pocket. Laguna's injuries are definitely an emergency. I wonder how much I'll need for bandages, I said to myself, wondering if 500 gil was enough. I can't bring it all, I told myself. To reassure myself, I took out 500 more and placed the stash back into its compartment, totaling 1000 gil. I placed my hand on my pocket, remembering the big wad of gil from yesterday. I slipped the money into my pocket as the memory of what happened yesterday with the soldiers stayed in my head. I shuttered at the thought, removing my now empty hand from the pocket. My eye got caught on my clothes for a moment and I looked down at them. My pants were dirty from sitting on the beach and my sweater had a big piece missing from it due to Laguna's screaming the night before. I held myself, recalling that I didn't take a bath the night before. There was a light odor of ocean air and sweat coming from my clothes and I cringed at the musty smell. "Oh dear. . ." I said with an exhale.

I decided to wash myself before opening the pub. I ran upstairs to see Ellone bouncing up and down on the green sofa. She had a huge smile on her face. I walked around the banister of the stair case and went to the corner of the room, picking up the wash basin.

"What r yoo doing, Raine?" Ellone asked. I turned to look at her.

"I'm going to take a bath," I told her. "I'm very dirty . . . Yuck!"

"Yuck," Ellone exclaimed in return. "Ms. Coopo gave me a baff yeserday!" I smiled at her.

"That's good . . ." I quickly turned around and turned on the faucet to the sink in that corner of the room. It spurted out warm water for a couple of minutes while the basin filled up. While I waited, I went and picked out another sweater for myself along with a pair of fresh dark pants. I laid my clothes on my bed. Quickly, I ran back to the basin and as it became full, I stopped the water. I walked away from the basin for a moment and I picked up fresh underwear and placed them on top of my clothes on my bed. Then I quickly removed all of my clothes, folding them before dropping them on the floor next to my bed. I went back to the basin. I bent down next to it and used the wash cloth sitting at the bottom to wash myself. I didn't want to waste too much time washing up since I was running late for opening the pub. I picked up the soap that was floating on top of the water and lathered up. Yesterday was so hectic, I sighed to myself as I put the wash cloth on my shoulder. After all the trouble those soldiers put me through, I needed the warmth the water gave me. I scrubbed everywhere, cleansing my skin. For some reason, I just felt so . . . dirty. . . but I figured it was just the grains of sand that lingered on me still.

Ellone came up behind me with a towel minutes later, putting it over my shoulders with her tiny hands. "Thank you," I told her as I started drying myself. I stood up and wrapped the towel around myself and dumped the water out into the sink. Ellone ran back to the couch and I decided to sit with her for a few minutes.

"Wen can I pic sum flowers?" she asked. "I tink he'll like 'em!"

"I'm sure the soldier will," I told her. She looked up at me, happiness bursting from her smile. "Tell you what . . . we'll pick some for him after lunchtime and before you take a nap." She cheered and started bouncing on the couch again. I stood up and walked over to my bed where I had left my fresh clothes. After patting my legs dry, I started getting dressed, Ellone humming and singing on the green sofa as I did so.

"Happy day . . . Happy day . . . " she sang. " For Mister Soljer, Me, and Raine" She laughed at her rhyme and sang it over and over again. I smiled as I finished dressing myself, listening to Ellone the whole time. I picked up my dirty jeans from the day before and got the 1000 gil out of the pocket. Then I placed the money into the pocket of the clean pants that I was wearing. I found a brush on a nearby dresser and brushed back my hair. I walked away from my bed, leaving the brush there, and walked around the couch. I patted Ellone on the head as I did this, Ellone giggling with delight. I made my way to where the stairs began when I heard Ellone speak. "Raine?" I turned around to look at her. "What is de soljer's name?" I grinned at her question.

"His name . . . is La--gu--na . . ." I said slowly for Ellone's sake. I watched her face contort slightly as she formed the sounds on her lips before saying the new word aloud.

"La . . . goo . . .na . . ." she said back phonetically.

"Yup," I said. Ellone got off the sofa and ran to me, wrapping her little arms around my legs.

"Wen yoo come back, we will pic flowers 4 Mr. Lagoona, o-tay?" Putting my hand on her head, I smiled down at her again.

"Alright . . ."

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After being open for nearly five hours, I had only had three customers. It was a boring day: a slow one that just kept dragging on and on. But then again, in my pub, a lot of days was like that. Even Ellone had gotten bored and came downstairs two and a half hours into the pub being open for the day. I stood there in silence, waiting for the door to open with hungry customers. I looked down at her as she drew a picture on a spare piece of paper. She was laying on her stomach as she moved her feet back and forth through the air. I looked up and over at a clock that read 4:34. So much time had passed and I hadn't checked on Laguna at all. I hope he's okay, I said to myself. I felt kinda bad. I was hoping that he'd been asleep the whole time. The thought of checking on him crossed my mind, but I never did it. And it seemed pointless to drag Ellone back and forth between the pub and her house. I had made it my first priority to keep a watch out for customers, dismissing Laguna, who lay wounded next door. There's gotta be more people coming in today, I said to myself with some shred of hope. If I'm out checking on that soldier, then I might miss a customer. So . . . I continued my silent watch for customers.

Ellone started humming to herself suddenly, catching me off guard. The pub was so quiet that all I could hear was the sound of Ellone humming and the sound of crayons scraping across the paper. I looked over at the clock again, reading 4:37. Only three minutes had passed. I stared at the door for another moment, getting frustrated. Who am I kidding? I sighed to myself as I looked down at the counter. I guess I should just close it down for today, I said to myself. If business is this slow, there's no way I can keep doing this . . . not today! "Ellone . . ." I said, looking down at her. She looked up at me. "Whaddya say about getting those flowers?" Her little face lit up and she smiled.

"O-tay!" she exclaimed, getting up onto her feet. She continued cheering. I laughed as she bounced around. Then out of nowhere, she put her hands on her stomach. I asked her what was wrong. She looked up at me and frowned slightly. "My tummy . . ." she said. "I'm . . . hunguy . . ." After all that time, I had forgotten that we had skipped breakfast and lunch! Dinner time was fast approaching and neither of us had eaten a single thing for the whole day. The mere thought of skipping those meals made my stomach growl, and Ellone's glance followed the strange sound. I smiled and made a compromise, "Okay . . . we'll eat first . . . then pick flowers . . ."

"O-tay!"

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Soon after eating, Ellone and I were out the door, going towards the end of town. I promised Ellone that on the way back from Mr. Slone's Supply Store, that we'd pick flowers for Laguna. It was a quiet walk, but a pleasant one. Ellone waved and greeted _everything _on the way there. "Hi sun . . . Hi sky . . . Hi tree . . ." she'd say. "Hi b's . . . Hi durt . . .Hi Ms. Coopo's house . . ." I laughed as she did this. . . and envied her carefree spirit. After that, she started singing her song from earlier in the day "Happy day . . . Happy day . . . For Mister Soljer, Me, and Raine" She suddenly stopped singing and held my hand more tightly as we walked past a small and practically harmless monster. When we were in the clear and when we were almost to the Supply Store, Ellone started singing again. She would look over her shoulder from time to time, but her grin remained. I couldn't stop smiling either. Ellone just picked up my spirit whenever she was with me and I started quietly singing along with her until we got to the Supply Store.

"Hello, Mr. Slone . . ." I said as Ellone and I was entering the supply store.

"Hello Raine . . ." he said, smiling at us.

"Hi!" Ellone said, jumping up and down and waving.

"Hello there," he said, his eyes squinting as he smiled. "What can I do for you two today?"

"I wanted to know how much bandages cost," I told him. "I need to start getting that soldier on the road to recovery, y'know . . ."

"Oh . . ." he said. "Well, for you, Raine, I'd do anything . . . but are you sho you should be helping 'im? He's prolly gonna cause a whole lotta trouble for you and lil' Ellone . . ."

"I'll be fine," I reassured him. "And besides he deserves the same care that anyone does . . ."

"I suppose. . . you're right," Mr. Slone said. He turned around and went to a shelf that was far off in the corner of the room, picking up five sets of bandages. He came back to us. "Each roll is about 100 feet long . . . Each foot is worth a gil . . ."

"Oh . . ." I said. "So each roll is 100 gil, right?"

"Roughly," he answered, laying the rolls on the counter. I was very happy. I should be able to buy plenty then, I told myself.

"That's great!" I remembered the 1000 gil in my pocket and reached inside, pulling it out. "I'd like ten rolls then, sir . . ." Mr. Slone's eyes widened at the sight of the gil in my hand as I held it out to him.

"Isn't that a bit much?" he asked. "That's a lot of bandages."

"His injuries are extensive . . ." I told him, picking up a roll. "If worst comes to worst, I might need more . . ."

"It's that bad, huh? Well . . .alright . . ." he said, taking the money from my hand. He turned and went off into another room for more bandages and I looked down at Ellone. She was just standing there, her eyes fixated on a bug on the floor. Mr. Slone took a while to come back, but I didn't think much of it since Ellone was keeping me preoccupied. After a few minutes of waiting, I heard Mr. Slone's footsteps. When I looked back up again, Mr. Slone was back with five more rolls and two bags. He started to bag up the bandages, nine rolls in one big bag and one into a small bag. He took his time doing this, and I just watched Ellone and her bug-friend until he was finished. "That should be ten . . ." he said. He handed the bag with nine rolls to me and the bag with one to Ellone. "Thank you for shopping here . . ." he said, his smile making his eyes squint again. "Please come again."

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On our way back home, just as I had promised, Ellone and I picked some flowers for Laguna. Ellone wanted to make a big bouquet for him and I had nothing against that. We sat in the flowers and laughed for quite some time before going to where Laguna was. We got back on the road and walked. At first, Ellone was swinging her bag back and forth, her bouquet of flowers in the other hand. But as we continued, that stopped and Ellone became more and more quiet. By the time the two of us were almost to the house, Ellone was yawning.

"Are you sleepy?" I asked her. She shook her head saying, "No . . ." She was so cute when she denied being tired. I started smiling as she yawned again. It was about time for her to take a nap so I wasn't surprised. We reached the house soon after that and I opened the door to let the sleepy Ellone through. We greeted the picture of Ellone's parents, Ellone quietly waving at them all the while. We went up the stairs and into the room in which Laguna would be found. When we stepped in, the first thing I saw was the injured soldier, still sleeping. I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he hadn't been awake the whole time while I was away. Ellone and I walked over to him, standing between the two beds in the room. I kneeled down beside the bed the same way I had done the night before. "Hi, Mr. Lagoona . . ." Ellone said, a smile on her sleepy face. "We r going 2 take good care of yoo . . ." She sat on the floor next to me, putting her bag down."Right . . . Raine . . .?"

"Yeah, Ellone . . . but we have to be quiet," I told her as I stared at his sleeping face for the first time since that morning. "He's sleeping still . . . and we don't want to wake him, remember . . .?" I looked over at Ellone and quietly gasped at her face. She had fallen asleep sitting next to me, her head against the bed and her little mouth open from her last words. I smiled as I looked at her. She's so cute, I said to myself. She had dropped her flowers and was completely knocked out. Typical of children, I suppose. I put my hand on her head, letting my fingers run over her short hair. I put down my bag and picked her up. I stood up and turned around, taking her to the other bed in the room. Gently, I laid her down. I covered her with a blanket and kissed her forehead. She smiled in her sleep and turned onto her side, facing away from me. I turned away from her and went back to Laguna. I got on my knees again and started taking the bandages out of the bags, counting them. After counting nine in my bag, I reached over for Ellone's bag. I picked up the only roll of bandages in her bag and gasped when I saw 200 gil fall from it. I picked up the money, a note attached to it.

Quietly, I read it aloud:

" . . . You've been kind to me in the past, so it's about time I returned the favor. I gave you a discount today so don't try to return it . . . It's going to take a lot of effort to help this man. I don't care much for outsiders, but I know you'll need the help. If you need anything at all . . . just drop by and I'll help you the best I can . . . Mr. Slone . . ."

I smiled and closed my eyes, silently thanking Mr. Slone while holding back tears. I was truly touched, but I shook off the feeling as I realized the gravity of my new responsibility. I looked back up at Laguna who lay there, lightly snoring. This is going to be hard, I said to myself. Really hard. I touched his hand and gently clasped it. Laguna stirred a little, but he didn't wake up. I'll be able to do this, I told myself, throwing all doubts aside. I breathed in deeply and frowned at the smell that I took in. "Oh my goodness . . . " I whispered, shocked that I was just realizing the smell. . . that was coming from Laguna. I brought my nose closer to him and sniffed. He smelled of damp clothes, ocean water, wet sand, and a hint . . . of fish. "Eww . . ." I exclaimed quietly, putting a hand to my nose. I stood back up, taking my hand off of his. I walked toward the door of the room. "Laguna, you need a bath . . ."

_---------------------------------_

After running back to the pub to get the wash basin, I came back to Ellone's house, a clean towel flung over my shoulder and a clean wash cloth in the basin. I went into the kitchen and turned on the water. I stood there in silence, contemplating what I was about to do. I can't believe I have to give him a bath . . . I said to myself. I turned off the water and looked into the basin. This is going to be. . . very strange . . .

I went up the stairs and found both beds with sleepers in them, Laguna's _smell_ greeting me at the door. I had the basin in front of me, making sure I didn't drop it. I smiled, seeing Ellone curled up in a ball underneath her blanket and Laguna in the same position he'd been in since last night, both snoring quietly snoring at different times. I walked over to Laguna's side and sat the basin down on the floor. I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible . . . so I got started right away. I allowed the towel on my shoulder to slough off down my back and onto the ground. I reached down and picked up Laguna's hand. I removed the glove there . . . then reached out and did the same to the other. I stood up and went to his feet, pulling off his only boot and dropping it to the floor, water dripping onto the floor. I went to his side again and took off shoulder padding, placing it on the floor. Next, I undid and pulled his belt off and then removed his gun away from its holster, noticing wet gil stuck to it. I slid the gun under the bed along with the money, out of sight so that Ellone wouldn't play with it. I then removed the armor from his chest and placed it on the ground with a thud despite my attempts to be swift and quiet. I looked at his face as I reached for his chest, his eyes still closed and snores still escaping his nose and lips. "Please, just rest, Laguna. This will be over before you know it," I whispered to him. After that, I zipped down his blue, long-sleeved, tattered shirt, doing the best I could to not disturb his sleep.

After manuevering the shirt off of him somehow and after hearing him grunt a few times from his discomfort while sleeping, I realized there was another shirt underneath the blue one, but it was white short-sleeved shirt and it had no zippers or buttons at all. Cursing my luck, I managed to remove this too after a great struggle and folded both shirts up before putting them on the floor. Then I went where his belt used to be and began to undo his pants. My fingers trembled as I worked on his fly, my anxiety catching up with me. But I shook it off and continued. I stood up and bent over him, my hands tight on fabric. I managed to pull them off, working them down his legs while I walked backwards along-side his body until I reached his feet. After a few minutes, they were carefully folded next to his shirts.

I stepped away from Laguna's bed for a moment and realized that I had left the wet sheets underneath him. I guees I should get rid of them before I start cleaning him up, I said to myself. It doesn't make much sense to clean him just so he can lay in stinking sheets again. I walked around the bed and untucked the sheets from ever corner. I then proceeded to manuever the sandy and wet sheets from underneath him, moving whatever part of him I needed to in order to get the job done, but still trying to cause as little pain as possible. As I struggled to do this, Laguna groaned in his sleep. . . obviously from his discomfort and his pain. I kept looking at him everytime he made a sound just to make sure he hadn't opened his eyes. But after I had managed to get the sheets off under his head and back, it was easy sailing and I wrapped his sandy, smelly clothes in the sheets.

After putting everythng down, I took a moment to rest, my back aching a bit from bending over Laguna and from working the sheets off the bed. I rubbed the small of my back as I sat on the floor next to the bed. When I had finally regained some energy, I went to pull off the last of what was covering him . . . his _underwear_. I figured that I'd take them off the same way I'd taken off his pants, but I changed my mind. I'm not bending over him like that again, I said to myself, thinking of a different strategy. So I kneeled along-side of his bed and then put one hand on his nearby hip and reached my other hand over to his farther hip. I was at an awkward angle, but it couldn't be helped. I didn't want to do anything drastic. I slowly . . . carefully . . . started pulling his underwear down, still trying not to wake him. After pulling down an inch or two down, I had reached his pubic line. I gasped and stopped suddenly. My face started burning and, for a moment, I didn't know why. My heart started pounding uncontrollably. Why? I asked myself. Where did all this anxiety come from? I let go of his underwear and sat on the ground for a moment, refocusing myself and all my energy. I breathed in deeply. Oh . . . I said to myself; just like that, the reason clicked. I brought my hands up to my face in an attempt to calm down.

_I've never seen. . . a man . . . naked before . . . _

What does it matter? I asked myself, regaining my focus. He needs to be cleaned. Somebody's gotta do it, I said to myself. Just as I thought this, Laguna inhaled deeply, his chest rising and a snore resonating through the room. As if his strange sound inspired my confidence, I hurriedly stood up, bent over him like I had earlier when I was removing his pants. I placed my hands on his hips again with my fingers clinched onto the fabric and went for it, pulling the remainder of his underwear down, exposing him completely. I pulled his underwear away over his feet, folding them and placing them on top of his tattered blue uniform, grains of sand collecting and surrounding his stinking clothes.

I looked over his body, examining the extent of the damage. Just as I had expected, the wounds were numerous. "Wow. . ." I whispered. I stopped staring and got started. I first washed his face, the easiest part since I was so used to seeing it. Plus most of the cuts on his face were already healed. His face turned toward me when the cloth hit his skin and he made a quiet noise, stopping my heart for a moment. Please stay asleep . . . Please stay asleep . . . I begged him in my mind. When his stirring stopped, I moved on, daring not to waste anymore time. I put some soap on the wash cloth and slowly lifted each arm a little to wash his arm pits.

"Ow . . . that hurts . . ." Laguna said quietly. I stopped for a moment, holding my breath. I thought he was awake, but yet another false alarm. I brought the cloth over his well-built arms, one at a time, making sure not to press too hard on his many cuts and bruises. Then I went to his chest, moving over it very carefully. Poor guy, I said to myself, staring at the dried-on blood stains, bruises, small, scabs, and leftover clumps of sand that were on his torso. I couldn't help but imagine what he'd had to go through to sustain such injuries. I did the best I could to clean each wound, but I needed to move on. I tried not stare at him. I never would've guessed he'd look like this, I said to myself, commenting on his wounds . . . and his physique. His chest, as bruised as it was, was tighter than I thought it would be. . . with muscles that seemed to be a decent size. As I moved the cloth over him, I realized that his stomach was in a similar condition. Tight and bruised up, showing that he probably had cracked a few ribs. I moved the wash cloth over his belly, still staring at his body in a way that made my face burn more and more. I carefully pressed the cloth on the cut that was next to his navel. Laguna flinched and moaned in pain as I pressed onto the cut.

"I'm sorry . . ." I whispered, stopping everything for a minute. He settled again and I observed him once more. He had such a lean body. I started laughing to myself, thinking that all the men in the Winhill were either fat or old . . . or both. I shuddered at the thought of seeing _them _naked. I guess I should be grateful that this isn't so bad, I told myself. Laguna isn't fat . . . he isn't even old . . . in fact . . . he's the only man I've seen like this . . . so young . . . so weak . . . and vulnerable. Feeling a bit mischievous, I pinched the skin next near his waist line.

"I said . . . that . . . hurts . . ." Laguna said, in pain yet still half-asleep. I looked at his face, making sure, once again, that he hadn't awaken. And he complains too . . . I laughed to myself. Getting back on track, I continued on in my lathering and washing, trying hard not to dwell on one place for too long and, at the same time, listening to Laguna snore.

I moved on to his legs, skipping his private part for last and bringing the washing basin with me. I washed his further leg first and then the leg close to me. His left leg had a large purple bruise on the thigh and I winced at the mere sight of it. I stared at it as I lathered soap along his leg. I shuddered for a moment and then I toughened up, trying not to think of it too much anymore, and made it down to the foot of the bed . . . to his sad and hurting feet. One was in a worser condition than the other due to his missing boot. When I got there, I put the wash cloth in the basin again, soaking it in fresher water. After lathering up again, I went over his feet with the cloth, going through each of his toes. Laguna started laughing quietly as I did this, making me uncomfortable. "That . . . tickles . . ." he said. I stopped again, becoming so impatient with his sudden interruptions that I started thinking he _was _awake. Maybe he's screwing around with me, I said to myself. I was about to get up to check and see . . . but I second guessed myself, deciding to play it safe and continue on. So I did, doing one foot . . . then the other, Laguna giggling all the while. I did this, trying to pay close attention his feet . . . and trying not to accidentally look up at his groin.

When I finished, I sighed as I made my way to his private part again. I came back to the side of the bed and brought the basin with me. I can't keep avoiding this forever, I told myself. I reached into the basin while taking every possible second of my time and trying to calm my anxiety. I looked at his private part for a moment, noticing how . . . the black hair that was there. . . and the exposed piece itself. This is so disturbing, I said to myself, looking away from him for a second. I raised the soapy cloth and plopped it down on his private part, hiding it from the world completely.

Okay, I said to myself. That wasn't so bad . . .

Lightly, I placed my hand down and moved the cloth over the length of his groin. I wanted to be gentle, but I had no idea how to or whether or not I was cleaning it right or not. It was so awkward . . . and wrong. . . in so many different ways. I really didn't know what I was doing, so . . . when I felt his groin harden from under my hand, I apprehensively pulled my hand away.

"Ahh!" I yelped as Laguna made another quiet noise and turned his head away from me. God, why do I have to do this?! I asked myself. I could feel water falling off my brow, my nervousness trying to escape in beads of sweat. I put a hand on my head, sighing and trying to calm down . . . then I gasped when I realized that that was the hand I was cleaning him with and I pulled it away immediately. "Oh God . . ." I whispered, trying to pull it together. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. If I can't clean him, what makes me think I can take care of him? I opened my eyes and looked at him again, the white wash cloth still laying where I had left it. It's just another obstacle, I said to myself. I crawled back to the bed and sat up next to it again. What am I doing? I asked myself. I cautiously put my hand on the cloth and the soap on it started to lather up again as I cleaned his private place. I moved my hand back and forth, up and down his part. I closed my eyes when I felt him slightly harden again, wondering if that was supposed to happen. Maybe that's broken too, I said to myself. I hope I'm not hurting him. To get my mind off of my job, I looked down at the flowers that Ellone had picked on the floor. I forgot about the flowers, I thought asanother quiet sound escaped from Laguna again.

After an eternity, I finished the front side of his body. I managed to clean his private part the best way I knew how, washing under it as well. I was just hoping I didn't cause him any pain. I put the wash cloth in the basin and gave a sigh of relief. I used a towel to dry any parts of him that were still wet from before. Now all I need to do is his back and his . . . butt. I started laughing at my misfortune. This really stinks. I stood up and put one of my knees on the bed, placing my hands on his furthest arm. I carefully pulled heavy, sleeping body toward me so that he'd turn over. Somehow, I got this to work, and eventually, Laguna was laying on his stomach, closer the edge of the bed. He grunted a little as I turned him, but that couldn't be helped. Before starting again and with a bit of difficulty, I manuevered Laguna back into the center of the bed to prevent any 'rolling out of bed and onto the floor mishaps'. After that, I kneeled back down by his side and rung out the wash cloth in the basin. I lathered in some soap and carefully washed his back. I even massaged him a little, letting my bare hand rub onto his back as if to comfort him. I could feel small grains of sand under the palm of it.

" . . . feels good . . ." I heard Laguna say, still asleep. I examined his back, counting the number of scratches . . . but no bruises. I then moved to the back of his legs, carefully going over the scratches and washing off any left over dried blood. I then put the cloth back in the basin and made my way back to his other private part. I did this part quickly and without too much concern since I had cleaned Ellone so many times. It's just a butt, I told myself. Before I knew it, I was done and I was so happy. . . so relieved! I picked up the towel and wiped off his back. I dragged the clothes that were wrapped up in the sheet to another part of the room, officially ending his bath.

"I did it . . ." I sighed, walking back and sitting on Ellone's bed. I looked back at her sleeping face. Apparently she had turned over in her sleep. Ellone looked so angelic when she was sleeping. I smiled and sighed again. She had a small snot bubble in her nose. I dried off my hands on my pants and reached over and popped the little bubble. I giggled at her and then turned around to look at Laguna.

Shimmering . . . green eyes . . .

I gasped at the sight of them. There he lay. . . on his belly. . . his head turned. . . eyes staring at me. "He-- I-- Uh . . ." I didn't know what to say.

"It's . . . so c-cold . . ." he said, sharply closing his jade eyes for a moment. There was a shiver in his breathing before he began to speak again. "I'm f-f-freezing . . ." Trying to find some words, I stood up and walked over to him.

"I'm sorry . . ." I said, picking up the wash basin. "Don't worry . . . you may be cold . . . but at least you're clean . . ."

"C-Clean?" Laguna asked. He looked down at the bed for a second, probably noticing that the sheets were gone. . . and then at his shoulder which was undeniably bare. . . and then at the basin that I had cradled in my arms. "Ugh! D-Don't tell me . . ."

"Tell you what?"

"You didn't--did you?" His face turned red and he put his face into the pillow to hide it away from the world.

"Laguna, what's wrong . . .?" I asked urgently, thinking there was something wrong. He didn't answer and I stepped toward him, accidentally splashing a little water on his bare behind. He turned his head again, his eyes wide with distress.

"Oh God, you did!" he exclaimed, more loudly now. I heard Ellone moving behind me as she stirred in her sleep. I figured it was because of all the noise Laguna was making. To prevent Ellone's waking up and seeing Laguna so 'indecently exposed,' I quickly put the basin down. Quickly, I went over to Laguna and put my finger to his lips, shutting him up immediately with my sudden action.

"Shhh . . ." I said curtly. "Ellone is sleeping . . . and if you wake her, I'll hurt you . . . You got that?" Laguna narrowed his eyes at me as he blushed. He turned his head into the pillow again, avoiding my face. I left him there to sulk for a moment and went downstairs to wash my hands and to empty the basin, leaving it down there to dry. Before going back to the room where Laguna was laying, I went to the room that used to belong to Ellone's parents. I went to a small dresser in the room and opened it. I found a pair of pants that were black and after looking in other drawers, a white short sleeved t-shirt too. I hope they're the right size, I said to myself. And lastly, a found a pair of old dusty underwear, the only pair I could find. I shook them out the best I could. After closing the drawers, I folded the clothes back up and walked out with them. When I came back to where I needed to be, Laguna had turned his face again and was looking in the direction of where Ellone was sleeping. I walked between the two beds and kneeled down beside him, putting the clothes on the floor. His eyes met with mine again . . . and his face reddened all over again.

" . . . What did you see?" he asked, pressing the side of his head into the pillow. I didn't answer his question. "Miss Raine . . ." I started to push his body over so that I could start putting bandages on him. I wasn't trying to be mean, but I wasn't as gentle as I was before. I simply put my hands under his nearest shoulder and began pushing. He groaned in pain as I somehow discovered a way to make him lay on his back, closer to the farther edge of the bed now. Laguna continued talking and grunting as I managed to pull him back into the center of the bed again. "Miss Raine!" he said, trying not to raise his voice. "Why are you ignoring my question?"

"Whaddya mean _what did you see_?"

" . . ._You know _. . ." Laguna said. I still stayed quiet as I walked to the other side of the bed, bending down to examine where I needed to put bandages. "Hel-lo?" Laguna said, interrupting my evaluating glances. "Don't play dumb . . . I know you can hear me . . ." I stood up and went in between the two beds again.

"_All _of it . . ." I said confidently, my face burning a little. I was trying to up cover my own embarrassment.

" . . . Oh man . . . that's not cool . . ." I could hear his voice shaking a bit with his discomfort. I bent down and picked up the towel from the floor. I casually laid it across the bottom of his torso, covering his private area.

"There," I said. "Is that better?"

"_No _. . ." he quietly retorted. I picked up the bandages on the floor next to Ellone's flowers, unwrapping them as I walked down to the foot of the bed.

"Laguna . . ." I said, beginning to wrap his injured ankle due to the absence of his boot. "I mean, you can barely move on you own. I don't want to seem mean, but right now, you're completely helpless." I paused for a moment, fumbling for the right words. "So . . . I'm going to take care of you. That counts bathing you . . . feeding you . . . clothing you . . . and doing whatever I need to do to get you back on your feet." There was silence as I wrapped his ankle.

"But--"

"I don't care if you're _embarrassed _. . ." I interrupted him, moving to his left leg. I could hear him whining as I tried to think of more to say. "Do you think I liked doing it?" I asked. He became quiet suddenly. "It's as awkward for me as it is for you . . ." I pushed his leg up until it was in a bent position. Laguna grunted as I moved his poor leg. "But . . . _somebody's _gotta do it . . ."

"B-B-But you're a girl!" he exclaimed. I looked down when he said this, bringing my arms over and around his right knee over and over again. "C-Couldn't you find a . . . a man . . . t-to . . ." He trailed off and I looked over at his face. It was so red that I started laughing.

"So because I'm a woman, I shouldn't do this, huh?" I asked him, going around the bed to wrap his other leg. "I'm old enough to know what I'm doing, you know." I bent up his leg and started to wrap his bruised thigh, at first too tightly. . . but I adjusted it when I realized that I what I had done. He winced in pain as I unwrapped and rewrapped his leg, groaning as my hands went around and around. "Besides, I don't know why you're so worked up over this . . ." I told him casually.

"What are you . . . talking about . . .?" he asked, his face still red.

"I'm sure nudity isn't that big a deal," I said, giggling a little. "You're just being modest, that's all . . ." I started to laugh a little harder. I looked up at his face and smiled. "With all the experience you've had with the ladies, I'm sure you've got nothing to be embarrassed about, Laguna . . . So don't worry about little ol' me seeing you like this . . . " I started laughing again, standing up and allowing his leg to go back its more comfortable position. I was trying to loosen him up so that the tension in the room would subside. . . so that he'd laugh _with _me . . . but he never did. He just looked out of the corner of his eye at the bed, his face returning back to normal. "That . . . was supposed to be a joke, Laguna . . ."

"How is _that _funny . . .?" he asked, being serious all of a sudden. He sounded . . . _insulted _. . . for some reason. I was thrown off by his more intense tone; he looked straight into my eyes now, piercing me.

"I don't understand . . ." I said. "Others have seen you . . . naked . . . haven't they . . .?"

"If by _naked _you mean in the showers at the locker room in the Galbadian Soldier Training Center . . . completely surrounded by fellow soldiers. . . then _yes _. . ." I was shocked by his answer. His face softened a little as he continued and he turned it away from me. "But if you mean . . . what I think you mean . . ." Laguna said, looking at me again. " . . . Then . . . no . . ." His eyes shined as he revealed a truth to me. My face burned again and he quickly turned his face from me once more to hide his reddening cheeks again.

"Oh . . ." I said, surprised. "I'm . . . I'm sorry . . ." I sat down next to him on the bed, my back towards him and I stared at Ellone's flowers on the floor. "I. . . I didn't mean to--"

"Don't worry about it . . ." Laguna said, his tone relaxing again. "It's alright . . . It's. . . It's not a . . . big deal . . ." Laguna hesitated the words quietly. And the silence stretched throughout the room. I felt bad . . . but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to apologize. I didn't know how to comfort him. I didn't mean to insult him . . . I just assumed that being naked wouldn't bother him. I couldn't get over his honesty though. Wow. . . I said to myself. I mean, with most men, if you saw them naked, they'd probably show off if they have the body for it . . . wouldn't they? I asked myself. I sat there in thought as the silence remained. . . surrounding us in embarassment. So, wait a minute . . .! I said to myself, realizing something much more. Did he just tell me that . . . that h-he's a vir-- "I hate this . . ." he whispered, interrupting my thoughts. "This . . . this is just . . ."

" . . . so awkward . . ." I said, finishing the line that broke the silence. I stared at the flowers on the floor, still not ready to turn around and look at him. "It's okay, Laguna . . ." I said. "It's not just you . . . I'm embarrassed too . . ."

"Why . . .?" he asked. I could feel my face burning again from his question.

"You _know _why . . ." I said, figuring he knew the answer already.

"No, I don't . . ." Laguna said. "Tell me . . ." There was a pause as I tried to put my embarrassment into words.

"It's not like I've ever seen . . . well . . . _you know_ . . ." I said, being discreet.

"No, I don't . . ." he said again, definitely playing dumb.

"Laguna . . ." I said, putting my hands on my knees. I looked down at the ground, letting my embarrassment get the best of me. After another awkward silence between us, I heard him start laughing.

" . . . Then . . . I guess we're both blue in the face, huh?" he asked. What? I said to myself, forgetting my discomfort for the moment. I looked back at him, confused by his statement.

"'Blue'? I think . . . you mean 'red' in the face . . ." I said. "If we were blue, then that means we can't breathe . . ." Laguna smiled nervously.

"Whatever . . ." he said, rolling his eyes. It was silent in the room for another moment as he turned his head toward Ellone. Then he started smiling. I smiled too . . . Then . . . we both laughed, relieving ourselves from the tension that our embarrassment had brought. I cupped my mouth to keep from laughing too loud and Laguna's carefree smile appeared. I bent down and picked up my second roll of bandages.

"So . . ." I said, turning around to look at him again. "Whaddya say we finish getting these bandages on and get you dressed, hmm?" Laguna looked at me, his gentle smile greeting me when out eyes met again.

"Sure . . ." he said, his cheeks glowing a light pink now instead of red. "What can I do about it anyway . . .? I mean, I'm _helpless_, right?" I stood up for a moment and readjusted myself on the bed. I watched Laguna as he closed his eyes, his face showing no sign of embarrassment anymore. "It's not like I can . . . stop you . . ." With that, he started chuckling to himself. His comment made me laugh for a moment too. I scooted a little closer to him and slid an arm under his back. As heavy as he was, I pushed him up into a sitting position so that I could start wrapping his arms and chest with bandages. He slouched his shoulders as he sat there, his shoulders slightly bouncing with his laughter. He continued on laughing, staying as quiet as he could. For some reason, I found myself laughing too as we sat there together. I sat close to him, supporting him with my one arm across his back and my hand pressing up against his chest, stabilizing him. He was still looking down at the bed, his shoulders shaking harder now with his laughter. I thoughtfully bent over just out of curiosity to see Laguna's face one more time. I smiled at what I saw; his eyes . . . still closed . . . and his face . . . red from embarrassment again. . . just like before . . .


End file.
